I can feel vignetted edges
of broken promises
claw and climb out from my mouth.
They leap like little larks needing nourishment
craving ease from this punishment
of separation from my Divinity.
I am wrapped in a hunger I don’t fully comprehend
but fly around the fairy tales I thought I’d eventually find.
Wake up this time!
No need to make up reasons,
shut out the raging tease i
n your belly
deeper in the trauma
of addicted connection.
These juicy moments distract me fully
even though you could never really love me.
There are fantasies clinging to these clotted heart beats
hidden in the closet of my older brothers room.
That’s a story Im pushing through.
I thought he hurt me because he hated me but I can see
in these reforming memories,
it was his way of
he did not understand but needed none the less.
So he basked freely in the golden Light,
once pure presence,
shining from my eyes
without my permission.
Stories of my King held me upright through years of lies.
I stand on broken limbs, here, wanting something I have not yet earned
and yet yearned for from those moments of safety usually conditioned daily as a baby
but my father kept forgetting where he set me down.
where ever you are,
I’m fighting to be the best of Me.
Giving to this Life all I can be,
returning, ruthless , relentless
towards the sunrise
each time the moon’s trickery
did some pretty shitty things to me.
I will still fall in love,
just in case.
It takes a powerful heart to stay in these moments of grace.
that reflecting globe shining Light mercilessly
on my skin,
can heal the half of me whole.
Here, in this moment
as my realities destiny unfolds
and I open to the unknown,
what I I do know,
I am Love.
I am Lovable.
I am Loved.